My lifelong friend, we had been together in Refugee Camp in Elsham, as young wives married to best friends had our babies together and our council houses, then they went to N.Z. - we too went, but my other half didn't settle, had died, in her thirties of cancer. All I could do is paint the plant in front of me. I was at art college that day when the news came through, I was heart broken. We were ordered to paint colourful masks, I was choking down tears and could only paint white, I just kept painting white masks, I tried to inject colour but just couldn't, which was the object of the task. At the end of the day, the lecturer sharply commented in a loud voice so everyone could hear..''and you have done what you think suitable not what I have told you to do.'' I wanted to tell her but could not for fear of the flood gates opening. She was very angry with me so I just fled, at home that evening, all I could do was paint our plants..